Self Sacrifice
In my evening writing the other night, I was talking with my Inner Voice about selfishness and self sacrifice. Though we have written about selfishness, we have written very little about self sacrifice. I thought that this would be a good conversation to share.
My questions will be in italics, while the answers from my Inner Voice will be in normal print.
Self sacrifice can be a very emotional subject, many people believe that the way to a higher self is through the act of sacrifice. Can you shed some insights on this subject?
Much has been written on the subject of self sacrifice, but what is truly happening when a person engages in this behavior? Sacrifice means to give something up, self sacrifice means to give up a part of oneself for others, here sacrifice becomes very powerful and much more personal. If a person sacrifices their true desires to please others, then they are giving up aspects of themselves that they believe to be right for them. But it must be understood that through this behavior they are denying themselves a true part of themselves. In a way they are saying, "I give up my true desires to allow others to live their true desires."
You spoke of self sacrifice as denying ourselves a true part of ourselves. Can you expand on this?
When a person chooses to sacrifice a part of themselves, they are placing their focus on pleasing or helping those around them. In this behavior, they are denying themselves an opportunity to live their best life possible as they sacrifice for others. It would be our belief that there is no need to sacrifice any part of a persons life for the benefit of others. Imagine if a person followed through with their true desires, found their inner truth and happiness, then began to help those around them. They are no longer feeling the need to sacrifice themselves, and those that they are helping will be experiencing the fullness of this person. Also, they will be coming from an emotional place of self love and kindness, they will not be experiencing any resentment for taking the time to help those around them.
How do people become resentful of those whom they are sacrificing for?
Many times people will set aside their true desires to raise a family. As time moves along resentment may set in as their desires become less and less of a priority. Though they may not believe that those around them can feel this resentment, trust that they do. Imagine being in this family, working at doing the best that they can yet, still feeling the resentment of the sacrifice from their parents. This resentment will cause much discomfort within the family.
How does this resentment become resolved?
Now imagine pursuing your true desires, you have come to an emotional place of self love as well as love for those around you. Through this course of positive action, you can now share your complete self with those in your life. You now share your love because you want to experience the joy of sharing love. Those around you will now benefit from experiencing the wholeness of who you are, no part of you has been sacrificed. You give yourself to others because you now are living through your truth of love and compassion.
You are saying, that I should pursue my true desires, then from this place, I can give myself to those around me without resentment or anger?
Yes, that is what we are saying. Please don't forget, that through this positive behavior you are not denying your true self to yourself or those that you are helping. You will experience who you truly are, and through this you will be sharing your complete self, without the need to self sacrifice.
What about helping the poor or the disadvantaged? Does that fit into this conversation?
This is a good question. If you have followed your true desires and helping these groups of people brings you joy and happiness, then this positive behavior will benefit many, many people. On the other hand, if you feel that helping other people through sacrifice will raise your self esteem, then this behavior is an act of expectation and not one of love and compassion. Your expectation is, through your self sacrifice you will feel love from those that you are helping. The issue with this, is that you expect love in return for your sacrifice. If none is returned your self worth plunges, then you try to find more ways to sacrifice yourself to boost your self esteem.
I should follow my true desires, then from this place, I can help others through my wholeness as a person, without the expectation of receiving love as a reward for my sacrifice?
Yes that is what we are saying. Discover who you truly are, then from this loving place, give your true, whole self to the world without expectation or sacrifice.
copyright Paul Hudon 2018
My questions will be in italics, while the answers from my Inner Voice will be in normal print.
Self sacrifice can be a very emotional subject, many people believe that the way to a higher self is through the act of sacrifice. Can you shed some insights on this subject?
Much has been written on the subject of self sacrifice, but what is truly happening when a person engages in this behavior? Sacrifice means to give something up, self sacrifice means to give up a part of oneself for others, here sacrifice becomes very powerful and much more personal. If a person sacrifices their true desires to please others, then they are giving up aspects of themselves that they believe to be right for them. But it must be understood that through this behavior they are denying themselves a true part of themselves. In a way they are saying, "I give up my true desires to allow others to live their true desires."
You spoke of self sacrifice as denying ourselves a true part of ourselves. Can you expand on this?
When a person chooses to sacrifice a part of themselves, they are placing their focus on pleasing or helping those around them. In this behavior, they are denying themselves an opportunity to live their best life possible as they sacrifice for others. It would be our belief that there is no need to sacrifice any part of a persons life for the benefit of others. Imagine if a person followed through with their true desires, found their inner truth and happiness, then began to help those around them. They are no longer feeling the need to sacrifice themselves, and those that they are helping will be experiencing the fullness of this person. Also, they will be coming from an emotional place of self love and kindness, they will not be experiencing any resentment for taking the time to help those around them.
How do people become resentful of those whom they are sacrificing for?
Many times people will set aside their true desires to raise a family. As time moves along resentment may set in as their desires become less and less of a priority. Though they may not believe that those around them can feel this resentment, trust that they do. Imagine being in this family, working at doing the best that they can yet, still feeling the resentment of the sacrifice from their parents. This resentment will cause much discomfort within the family.
How does this resentment become resolved?
Now imagine pursuing your true desires, you have come to an emotional place of self love as well as love for those around you. Through this course of positive action, you can now share your complete self with those in your life. You now share your love because you want to experience the joy of sharing love. Those around you will now benefit from experiencing the wholeness of who you are, no part of you has been sacrificed. You give yourself to others because you now are living through your truth of love and compassion.
You are saying, that I should pursue my true desires, then from this place, I can give myself to those around me without resentment or anger?
Yes, that is what we are saying. Please don't forget, that through this positive behavior you are not denying your true self to yourself or those that you are helping. You will experience who you truly are, and through this you will be sharing your complete self, without the need to self sacrifice.
What about helping the poor or the disadvantaged? Does that fit into this conversation?
This is a good question. If you have followed your true desires and helping these groups of people brings you joy and happiness, then this positive behavior will benefit many, many people. On the other hand, if you feel that helping other people through sacrifice will raise your self esteem, then this behavior is an act of expectation and not one of love and compassion. Your expectation is, through your self sacrifice you will feel love from those that you are helping. The issue with this, is that you expect love in return for your sacrifice. If none is returned your self worth plunges, then you try to find more ways to sacrifice yourself to boost your self esteem.
I should follow my true desires, then from this place, I can help others through my wholeness as a person, without the expectation of receiving love as a reward for my sacrifice?
Yes that is what we are saying. Discover who you truly are, then from this loving place, give your true, whole self to the world without expectation or sacrifice.
copyright Paul Hudon 2018
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