Holding on to Anger

I have been thinking lately about why we hold on to anger. How does holding on to anger serve us? In truth, holding on to anger may make us more angry, I have never gotten less angry by staying in an emotional state of anger. Sounds crazy, but think about it, how often do we have to work at releasing our anger before we can experience any better feelings or emotions? 

Anger can have such a powerful hold on our consciousness that we fail to see the life that we have been searching for. Oftentimes we use our anger as part of our identity, saying to ourselves and those around us: “I’m this way because I’m angry at… .” Is there any benefit to holding on to our anger? Is anger a place of comfort for us? Or do we blame others for our life situation, and anger justifies our behavior?

With these powerful questions, and a few more in mind, I thought a conversation with my Inner Voice would be beneficial. My questions will be in italics for clarity.

Anger is a powerful negative emotion, so why do we choose to hold on to our anger?

Anger is an emotion that says, look at what they have done to me. Or, my life is this way because of these reasons… . Holding on to anger is a way to justify the thoughts that you think, the words that you speak, and the actions that you take. One of the reasons that people maintain anger is because they are unsure how to move forward from their place of anger. If they are expecting an apology and do not receive one, they stay in anger, waiting for a resolution. What they fail to realize is that any resolution to their source of anger must come from within them.

It’s odd how an apology may not resolve the issue when someone is angry. What do we do then? 

There is nothing that you can do for someone who chooses to ignore an apology and maintain their anger. This is a powerful choice that they make for themselves. They choose not to accept the apology, and oftentimes they choose not to forgive, as well. These are powerful choices that will keep them in the chains of anger. They can release themselves from this place of anger by a true act of forgiveness, but it must be a true act. 

 Would you explain a true act of forgiveness.

Anyone can mouth the words of forgiveness as anyone can accept an apology, yet still maintain their anger. To accept an apology or forgive in a true way is to know that deep within you is a source of powerful love that sees everyone as doing the best that they can. To accept this powerful love is to connect with what you know to be true and right for you on a deep emotional level. 

Anger is a powerful negative emotion that will limit the way you experience the world around you. To live in a true way, is to know that any negative emotion will separate you from knowing the love that is within you. A true act of forgiveness is rooted in this love, and the intention is to release any anger, and move back to a more loving frame of mind. 

Yes, but some people just can’t let it go.

Again, this is their choice. They choose to be angry and this is the face that they show to the world. Why? Because this behavior brings them attention. Every emotion that you experience radiates energy, and this energy is felt by every being that you come in contact with. If you are angry everyone around you feels this anger, but remember if you are loving and kind this energy is also felt. The difference is that being angry, and radiating the negative energy of anger is an attempt to control the situation. Have you noticed how no one wants to be around a person that is angry? This behavior is a way to control the behavior of others. Have you ever heard: “I’m angry, leave me alone?” Have you ever heard: “I’m loving and kind, leave me alone?” Which one controls the situation. Which one is expressing the powerful negativity of anger?

We all get angry at times. What can you say to that?

Getting angry, forgiving and moving forward is an act of love. The intention is to move forward without the weight of anger limiting true growth. Getting angry and accepting an apology or expressing forgiveness is the path to deeper, more loving life experiences. Holding on to anger is a way to stay in the negativity of the experience, where no true growth will take place. Staying in anger can also be a place of comfort, they know the anger, they relate with the anger and they feel that it gives them strength. Anger can be a shield to be held up against those that angered them.

What advice do you have when we get angry?

Understand that everyone, including yourself is doing the very best that they can at any given moment. Through this acceptance, anger can be released quickly and truly, through acts of forgiveness or accepting an apology. Remember, holding on to anger is a choice that need not be made.

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I’m sure that we will discuss the subject of anger in a future post. Does this resonate with you? Or, do you have any questions or comments? If so, email me at, paulhudon23@gmail.com. 

If you are interested in reading more writings with my Inner Voice, check out my article in the October issue of New Spirit Journal titled, “The Capacity to Love” find it at newspiritjournalonline.com. Or my article in the latest issue of Conscious Shift Magazine, titled “The Rope Swing” consciousshiftmagazine.com

This week my weekly email conversation is titled, “Mistakes or Lessons.” Can we see past the mistake for the lesson that will help us along our journey? Or do we dwell in the mistake? If you are interested in receiving these weekly conversations, email me and I’ll add you to the subscription.

Thanks for taking the time to read my blog.

Peace and Well-Being.