Guilty
If we are honest with ourselves, we may notice how we are guilty of the same negative behavior we accuse others of executing. At times we think our actions are saintly, yet is this true?
It takes courage to look at our own behavior to see if we are indeed as positive as we think we are. Yet our focus is more on the behavior of others than it is on our own behavior. This is why judgement comes so easily for us, it takes little thought, and almost no self-reflection.
The root to all healing is responsibility. If we blame, judge, or criticize, others without much thought, we are avoiding responsibility for our healing. It becomes easier to blame others than accept guilt for our negative behavior.
Years ago I had the experience of saying something I thought was a joke. As you would imagine the other person did not see it that way. Apologizing soon as I realized my error, I still received a dozen nasty, hate-filled emails. All of which were much more painful than my joke. The sender of these emails believed they were justified in their actions, yet they failed to realize how guilty they were for making the situation worst.
In the world today it seems no one wants to admit they may be wrong, or have made a mistake. Is our self-esteem so fragile we find it easier to blame others or the circumstances, rather than take responsibility for our actions?
One of the most powerful truths I have learned along my spiritual journey, is that if we attach our happiness to the behavior of others we will end up disappointed. But this is not the fault of others, it is our fault for asking those around us to behave in a way that pleases us. When they can’t measure up to our standards, we blame them for our unhappiness. Yet we are guilty of handing the responsibility for our happiness to others.
To live an authentic life, we must be willing to take an honest look at our actions. We do this to determine if we are behaving in a way that aligns with the love found at the core of our being. Are we living by this love, or are we unaware of its existence?
What are the options when we receive a dozen painful emails? Rather than sink into negativity and retaliate in kind, can we move deeper into a place of love? Thinking about it, anyone who sends even one hate-filled email needs love. Their behavior reflects a lack of self-love. Yet if we were to behave as they do, then we disconnect ourselves from our eternal source of love as well.
If we find ourselves guilty of behaving poorly, the sentence is to love ourselves more deeply. There is no point in emotionally abusing ourselves if we realize our behavior has been less than pristine, hopefully we can learn from these experiences. Thereby bringing us closer to a place of true unconditional self-love.
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Is it possible to notice our guilt and heal this behavior with self-love?
Let me know what you think. Leave a question or comment below, I’m always interested in hearing from you.
Each week I email an article to those who have subscribed to my weekly newsletter. This week I compare life to the potato chip aisle in the supermarket. Here is an excerpt.
Settling on something we know is easy, even if at times it drives us nuts. Although it might be easier than failing as we venture into the unknown. The potato chip aisle has so many choices it might be easier to just pick what we have always chosen, even if we are bored with the flavor.
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Peace and well-being, Paul
Copyright Paul Hudon 2024
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